THE HUSBAND
HAVE TO BE THE REFERENCE OF LOVE AT HOME
One of the major
mistakes that couples make is to try to fix the home seeking a mutual comprehension
and a simple change of attitudes, as if it was enough to attempt to pander
each other so that the problem can be solved.
Unfortunately the individuals refuse to go
on the mainstring of the question: what is
the purpose of marriage?
How did it all
start? Where did the idea of marriage come from?
·
"And
the LORD God said, It is not good that
the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2.18).
On the contrary of
what many think, the marriage was never idea of man. Everything started in the
own Eternal One. There is nothing supernatural more than marriage. Nobody,
himself, thinks of marrying. It is the Eternal One’s gift to man (Prov 19.14), something that Jesus prepared with all
tenderness and love especially for him, making come out of inside him someone
who would assist him in all areas and that it would give to him conditions
so that his work can go on after his death.
Now think: How
would you feel if someone you both love simply throw out in the trash can the
gift that you prepared with all tenderness and love, as a true work of art in
its minutest details? Now you can imagine how Jesus feels when someone
thinks to divorce.
Now think: if
someone cannot come along with the company of someone that was created
especially for their, as they hope to walk together with someone strange that
has nothing to do with them (see Prov 2.16;
5.13; 20.16; 27.13)?
Unfortunately the individuals are not
understanding that the woman was created to be idoneous
helper to the man.
Well, anyone who
helps, assists someone at something.
Assist in what and,
mainly, for what?
The first question
can be answered in Genesis 1.28.
The second, to
be answered, it is necessary to analyze the role of angels:
·
"Are
they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who
shall be heirs of salvation" (Heb 1.14).
·
"And
I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it
not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy
brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of
Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." (Rev 19.10).
·
"Then
saith he unto me, See thou
do it not: for I am thy fellowservant, and of thy
brethren the prophets, and of them which keep the sayings of this book: worship
God." (Rev 22.9).
You may be asking
yourself: but what have to do the angels with women. Firstly, note how the
role of angels is to help the Church. And it is no secret that there is an
identity between the relationship of Christ with His Bride, and the intimacy
that must exist between husband and wife:
·
"Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it; that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that
he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle,
or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish." (Ephesians 5.25-27).
Comes the question:
why do you think the angels have as much pleasure in camping around the Church?
·
"The
angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that
fear him, and delivereth them." (Psalm 34.7).
Here is the reason
for this:
·
"Of
which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who
prophesied of the grace that should come unto you: searching
what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did
signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory
that should follow. Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves,
but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by
them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from
heaven; which things the angels desire to look into." (1 Peter 1.10-12).
As well as the angels
want to see Jesus manifest Himself through the Church, what women really
want is to serve as a support in the life of someone who can give them the life
of Christ and, concomitantly, show them what the glory and His Word are capable of
doing in the middle of the events that arise. They want to see the power
of godliness (2Tim 3.5).
Therefore, what the
man should seek is not pander his wife. Indeed, this is the recipe for the
home go wrong, for he that soweth to his flesh
shall of the flesh reap corruption (Gal 6.7,8)
and that the eyes of any human being never satisfied (Prov 27.20). What
the man needs to do is be right in the eyes of the Eternal One in order to be
able to find rest on support of women and, with this, to be able to
convey her exactly what it needs to receive.
Just so she will be
able to find rest on the authority of the husband to the point of
subjecting to the direction given by him (the thoughts and feelings of
Christ in his life).
And on the contrary
to what many think, the role of love is not of the woman, but of man.
I know that this
sounds strange, since women are considered more romantic and sentimental than
man. This, however, was implanted in our head by romanticism, which then
comes trying to deify women and that gained strength with the feminist
movement.
However, never
the reference of love should be the woman. Remember that man is the glory
of Christ (1Corinthians 11.7). So much so that the Eternal One is called
Father and not the mother). Therefore, if at home the woman is expressing
best the love than man, this is a serious sign that things are bad at home.
Remember the
exhortation given by Paul:
·
"Nevertheless
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the
wife see that she reverence her husband." (Eph 5.33).
The man never
expected that his wife loves him.
Understand: there
is only one source of love: Jesus (1John 4.8,16). And this love he gave
especially to man. It is up to him convey it, through the intimate
relationship (1Pet 3.7), into the woman (Genesis 1.28) that, then, will be
able to allow Jesus to work it in her interior until the day
that she could give birth to this love in the form of respect,
children and fruit of the Holy Spirit.
What Jesus gives
the woman is respect for her husband.
However, while this
day is not come, the husband must remain bringing his wife to himself, letting
the wife make part of life that Jesus gave him.
Similarly, the
woman should stay respecting the husband, even while he remains distant. With
the grace of Christ, there come the day in which the husband will see the
result of your thoughts, feelings and attitudes through all the
her respect to her husband, and then will be disgusted with himself.
Understand: if the
woman trying to combat the errors of her husband, he hardly see
the malignity of their actions. However, if she fruitful and multiply in
the midst of everything that the husband put in her interior, besides he see all their wickedness expanded (each one reap
what they sow - Gal 6.7-9), he also will see the expression of
Christ's grace through the woman (see 1Pet 3.1-3).
Remember that the
order is go down to the valley of the shadow of death, along with the enemies,
instead of wanting to run away from it or want to fix the valley and those who
live there by force or violence. Remember that the whole harvest in the flesh
brings up the harvest of corruption.
The woman should
stay beside the husband where and in a situation in which he finds himself, but
always seeking the escape of Christ in the midst of the temptations that come. There
is always an escape for the woman, so that she can remain in Christ without
lying (see Acts 5.1-11), ceasing to pray (see Dan 6.12,13), idolize
(see Dan 3.14-16) and be conformed with the spiritual coldness in the
midst of everything that happens around (see Luke 19.45,46; John 2:15,16).
The man should not give
up his leadership (i.e., to deliver the life that his home should live) to
please the woman and she must not abandon the purity of Christ to please man,
but also she should not abandon him even when he is
wrong.
The proof of this
can be seen in Psalm 23:
·
"Yea,
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." (Psalm 23.4).
Think: what a
Christ’s follower would be doing in the valley of the shadow of death and
remaining walking over there? There is only one explanation: he was forced to
go to this place because of someone that surrounds him (for example, your
spouse).
Even if the husband,
for being enemy of Christ, is also enemy of his wife, yet she must remain meek
and quiet, trusting that Jesus will provide His table for both, and that
nothing will miss (see 1Pet 3.4-6).
If the contrary, the
man must stay where he is ready to give his life to his wife and only down to
the valley of the shadow of death when Jesus authorize in order to call her out
of this fold.
Clarifying:
submission is different obedience. The woman should be submissive living the
life of husband beside him, but without neglecting the principles of Sacred
Scripture and the character of Christ.
It is good to
remember that the shepherd came to redeem the lost sheep, but the father did
not go out in search for the prodigal son. This is because, in the first case,
the sheep lost the way at home.
It is also good to
remember that to like is different to love. The evil with people is
married the individual who likes. The problem with this is that, as the
individual changes with the passage of time (because of the corruption of sin),
which has led the individual to the liking of the spouse can tomorrow no longer
exists.
For example: if one
like the others because of physical appearance, and here ten years when part of
this appearance is lost?
On the other hand,
if each one is left together by Love, in order to achieve true wisdom (which is
hidden in mystery - see Prov 18.1; 1Cor
2.), they will see each other the opportunity to stay free from corrupted ego
that insists on manifest and will give praise to the Eternal One by the fact of
Jesus use them so that their flesh have no place to manifest (Gal 5.16,17),
but only Christ (Gal 2.20: 2Cor 4.10,11).
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